Random Findings...

Ran across this while cleaning up my room. NO memory of writing it and no date. My mother would be so disappointed. ;p
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As I watch them appear--unbidden to the screen--they mock me. The words I can never say. With their mere existence they spite me. The beauty and fragility of their phrasing a mourning of the feelings they describe. Feelings that can never be. Feelings that will forever remain unsatisfied, unrequited, unconsumed, buried. He stands fresh in my mind untouched, forever untouched, the stench of missed opportunity and serendipitous revenge flowing out of him like poison. I resent myself for assuming I could resist, for not preparing myself for the temptation that would live in him, for taking it all so fucking lightly. How dare you steal my heart without ever realizing you'd already broken it?
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It's weird, because I KNOW I didn't write it recently, yet it totally works for my current situation. So, yeah. That's odd. I wonder who the hell this was about? Was it even about anyone? Was it just me in my people watching finding some lonesome look on the face of some girl? I'll never know. Most of the time I hate my own work, so this whole no memory thing is kind of great, seeing as how I actually find the thing tragically beautiful. The things you find when you clean up your space!

Popcorn Rental Pick: Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Yes, yes I know. I'm an asshole. I haven't done this and I keep saying I will and I haven't and I'm a jerk face. I get it. But, work has stayed insane, apparently I have friends now who like to hang out with me outSIDE of work and I've recently renewed my love of reading, so you know what? I'll get to this when I get to this and I'll enjoy it when I have the time. And now we're go for this week's Popcorn Rental Pick of the Week!

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol: Mike will kill me for saying this, but I actually enjoyed this MI more than MI3...granted the team doesn't have as much chemistry and the villain is a bit lame, it was just more watchable than the third installment for me. Three fails because it is too focused on the love story side and Ethan getting out of the game. It feels like a retirement picture at points. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the shizznog, and I adore him as Ethan's nemesis, but when compared to the watchability of Ghost Protocol, MI3 just lags.

Really, Ghost Protocol is a performance piece for Tom Cruise...to the point that it actually seems as if everyone else was told not to outshine him, particularly Jeremy Renner, who is capable of much better than this (see The Town). His side-story is weak and predictable and it's clear that from an acting standpoint he is trying particularly hard not to one-up Cruise's Ethan Hunt. Paula Patton isn't as fun as Maggie Q, but she does get some great hand-to-hand combat scenes in and Simon Pegg's Benji is a field agent now! Yay!

The action set pieces are outSTANDING and the ridiculousness level of the caper itself is at an all-time high reminiscent of something like Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears. Seriously. Someone blows up The Kremlin for Pete's sake. Nonetheless, for fans of the series this will more than suffice and as mentioned above the only significant drawback is a less-than-great villain. If Ghost Protocol had a baddie as wonderful and convincing as PSH from MI3 it would have just pushed it that much over the top. Lovie-dovie bits are-thankfully-only briefly mentioned and Cruise even gets to be in on the comedic relief at times. Any action-and gadget!-junkie will adore this film and it was definitely worth it to see it in Imax...(I can't believe I just said that)...however it really is good the second, third, etc. time around even on a much smaller screen in your own home. Pure Adrenalin. Pure Fun. What's not to love?

Real Steel

I admit it! I am a full-fledged cheesy-action-movie-junkie-whore, god dammit. And you know what? I own that. I own that with fucking pride, man. PRIDE, I say!

Now, what is "Real Steel" you ask? Well, it's a big mushy slushy of "Rocky", "Over the Top", "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots" and a brilliant little Twilight Zone episode called "Steel" which, awesomely enough, was written by a personal fave author of mine, Richard Matheson, which is also the story that this film is inspired by. (Oh, the things you learn when you love movies and books at the same time.)

Some might be tempted to include Transformers, but I'm not down with that. Transformers are aliens from another planet, nay, galaxy and they have not to do with man-made ass-kicking machines. There's no galactic war here, no human slavery, no All Spark. Here there power cores, vintage models, underground robot boxing leagues and massive, MASSIVE amounts of robot HEART.

The film itself is SO reminiscent of both the Rocky films and "Over the Top" that I'm surprised they didn't cite them in the credits. I know the film is more of an homage, but it actually lifts entire sequences from both films. I swear the final fight between Hugh Jackman's little-robot-that-could, Atom and the big, bad, shiny black undefeated 'bot named Zeus (Zeus...that's not obvious or anything, *cough* Apollo Creed *cough*) is a complete reproduction of the Rocky Balboa VS Ivan Drago fight. Zeus even throws Atom into his own corner at one point and I sort of whisper yelled "Draaaaaaggggggggooooooo!" in the theater. Also, the montages of Jackman's Charlie and NOT-newcomer Dakota Goyo's Max on the road with Atom and working out by the truck on the side of the road is so right out of OTT it's not even funny. (Note, Goyo should be familiar to you if you watched Thor earlier this year. He played the young Thor in flashbacks to Chris Hemsworth's mighty god.)

For an effects heavy film the movie is beautifully shot, and I think this has to do both with the landscape we're able to see at times, juxtaposing this massive technology with wheat silos and acres upon acres of agriculture. Danny Elfman lent his talent for the film's score which adds a lot of depth to certain climactic scenes.

Goyo and Jackman have an insane chemistry together on screen. Jackman is playing somewhere in between his character in "Swordfish" and the smarmy Wolverine. It's comfortable for him, but he really shines in the dialogue scenes with Goyo. Kevin Durand and Anthony Mackie are great as supporting players, Durand a former foe of Jackman's when boxing was still man VS man and Mackie as a bookie/emcee who loves Charlie, but doesn't trust him as far as he can throw him. The other bright spot in terms of talent is the insanely beautiful Evangeline Lily as Charlie's landlord/love interest Bailey. She makes tough, smart bitch look SO awesome. I love you Ms. Lily.

The central heart line of the flick is the standard underdog story. Max's robot is a little guy, a sparring bot (ahem, ROCKY!), he's old, he's beat up, his joints need oil, but guess what? Homey can take a hit. And he can keep taking hits. All night long, and still get up and fight back. In a world of command prompts and voice-activated punch combinations, Atom is a real boxer. He's a fighter. Max realizes that Charlie's knowledge of the sport and his LOVE of the sport will help lead Atom to the top. So, they come up with an arrangement. Max is a great dancer and Charlie will only teach Atom to box if Max will dance going into the ring before every fight. (Atom has a baller "shadow feature" so therefore Max dancing in the ring = Atom dancing in the ring and it is every bit as amazeballs as it sounds.) Little by little they scrap and climb and finally they get the big dog, Zeus.

The subplot of the film has to do with Charlie giving up custody of Max in exchange for the summer and a buttload of cash, but I'm ignoring that because I don't enjoy the thought of him giving up Max at the end. *Tear*

The final fight is just plain awesome. Max and Charlie and Atom are in fine form, and the undefeated Zeus has finally met with something he can't adapt to. And why? Because Atom isn't just steel. He's steel and determination and he has the heart of a champion inside him. Naturally, Charlie gets his chance at championship redemption when the voice-recognition software gets futzed up and we have the required slo-mo crying scenes of everyone involved, but it just feels SO amazing to watch that little robot kick Zeus's face in. (The actual result of the fight is also pulled from "Rocky Balboa", it's not about the decision, it's about the fight itself.)

This is the kind of movie you go to...whenever. With friends, with family, with your kids. I went after a really bad day at work and it just brought me so much happiness. It's the kind of movie that makes you happy about life. It makes you feel better about everything. For that two hours, everything is right with the world. So, if you need a pick-me-up or you just want to have a great time at the movies, definitely check out this flick, because it's a knock-out.

Warrior

Sigh. Where oh where do I begin with this film? I suppose the most important thing to say to introduce this review is to point out that the trailer is a completely accurate representation of the movie, and while I thought it gave away too much of the plot, it turns out I was completely wrong.

One thinks, going into these sporting movies that it's all going to be the same note. Come on, you know...montages, incredibly cheesy familial reconciliations, nothing really cataclysmic going down, but Warrior? Warrior will knock you on your ASS if you have any experience whatsoever with any of its themes in your own personal life. Even if you haven't been through anything like it, or known anyone who's been through it, it's likely you will be incredibly moved.

The key to this movie is the dynamic between Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte, who play an estranged threesome of brothers and father. The exact moment that drove the family apart isn't exactly exposed, but the gist of it is easily found. Tom Hardy especially gives a massively powerful performance. Nearly every frame he's on screen is filled with a seething rage. It's like a disease or something that's totally taken over his body and his mind that causes him to be dedicated and hardworking yet incredibly spiteful and violent. Considering the crux of the film is a giant UFC fight, this works well with the tone of the film. Edgerton is the other side of the coin. His performance is full of regret and sorrow over the decisions he made as a teenage boy. He has a family to protect, he has responsibilities that he faces down, whereas Hardy has issues following through with his "duty". And man oh man does Nolte ever shine in this. He plays a recovering alcoholic attempting to forge SOME sort of bridge with is two sons who are at odds with each other. He's constantly listening to an audio book of Melville's "Moby Dick", and there is a singularly amazing scene when he's listening to it on headphones during the competition in his hotel room screaming "Why Ahab, WHY? Why didn't you just give up the WHALE?!" To say what also occurs during this scene would be giving too much away, but needless to say because of my own life experiences I was absolutely bawling my eyes out during the scene.

The three lead men play so well off of each other, it's almost as if it isn't a movie, but an actual theatre production. Nothing feels forced. Barely anything actually FEELS scripted. There's an authenticity there that just isn't really seen much. Authenticity and vulnerability. These big, tough men who all basically want to be loved and respected and they want their family back. All of them wanting the same thing but also fighting against it. All of them with broken hearts.

Hardy's character, Tommy is an "ex"-military man (a twist regarding this plot line that I did NOT see coming also brought a whole other level of drama to the film, and also of understanding on behalf of Tommy), and the only time you really see him smile the whole film is when he's talking to the widow of a good friend of his. The purse for the tournament is massive, and he tells her he's going to give all the money to her when he wins...this is his way of asking for absolution even though she loves him, and believes there is nothing to forgive.

I must say the "final fight" or ultimate climax of the film is pretty much one of the best 20 minutes of sport-related film I've ever seen. The close angles, the claustrophobia, the pain that you literally feel thrown at you at every turn of the camera is visceral and made my heart race the whole time. I wasn't really "rooting" for any one man. I merely wanted them to heal. They had both done bad things, both made mistakes, but they were the kind of mistakes one can't really apologize for. Life just happened...to them, around them. It chewed them up and spit them out and this fight is more about them sticking it to life than to one another. The truth is they just want each other back. Tommy doesn't want to carry his hatred around anymore. He wants to leave it in the ring and move on and he does just that.

...Love. When it comes right down to it, this movie is about love. And how no matter what, we always have to fight for it. It doesn't just come to us, or bless us. We have to fight to keep it with us. We have to fight for our love, for our families, for our lives. The final few frames are just incredible. I sobbed. I mean it. I physically sobbed in my empty theatre (and thank god for that because I was a hot mess). It was just...awe-inspiring. Needless to say this has been one of the best movies I've seen all year and I've highly recommended it to everyone I know who loves movies. It's not an easy movie to sit through by any means, but damn, is it ever worth every second of it.

...A thought, for the moment...

"I’m concerned about a better world. I’m concerned about justice; I’m concerned about brotherhood; I’m concerned about truth. And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can’t murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can’t establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can’t murder hate through violence. Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that.”

Martin Luther King Jr. on August 16, 1967, during his "Where Do We Go From Here?" speech in Atlanta, Georgia.

Tell me that statement--the REAL statement--is so vastly different from the "viral" quote going around. The allegedly misappropriated quote is merely a condensed version of this even LESS ambiguous statement on the concept that blood merely begets more blood.

I refuse to apologize for how I feel on this matter, and considering one "friend" has already called me a traitor and another took a very thinly veiled shot at me in front of a lot of people, I just needed to clear this shit up.

I am a very patriotic person. I LOVE THE CONSTITUTION. I LOVE my country and I know how lucky I am just to have been born here, so if you want to call me out, be my damned guest. Just know, that me thinking this way doesn't mean that I think you're wrong or awful if you disagree with me and feel something different. I merely respect the fact that you are entitled to your feelings where as apparently, you aren't doing me the same courtesy. So, as always, thanks for that.

The Lincoln Lawyer

Let me start by saying that I am one of those people who sees a Matthew McConaughey movie and pretty much sees/hears nothing but David Wooderson (BAHA!) from Dazed and Confused. "Party at the moon tower...hey, hey watch the leather, man!" Not to mention that I'm pretty sure he signs autographs by spelling his last name phonetically-Matt Mick-Con-Oh-HEY!-but, let me be straight up when I say this, I think The Lincoln Lawyer may be the best role I've seen him play. I really think he's had other good roles, such as U571, Contact, Amistad, A Time to Kill and in particular I love Reign of Fire (shut up!) and Sahara, but this one...this was just a very raw performance. Very gritty. I think he's aided by how the film is shot-shakey hand cams and close-ups on his very stressed out, watery, bloodshot and emotive eyes. In addition, since he plays a father there's something fiercely protective about how he comes across, especially in the latter half of the film when things start to unravel considerably.

Now, in a random twist of normalcy, I haven't actually read the source material for this movie. I kind of wanted to, but now that I've seen the film I think it might be a bit unnecessary. Not that I didn't get what the twist was based on the trailer, but there were some other things that happened that I wasn't exactly expecting, so if I read the book I'm sure I'll either be underwhelmed since I already know what happens or I'll be annoyed if the movie took too many liberties, and I like this movie too much to risk that ruckus.

McConaughey plays lawyer Michael "Mickey" Haller, a very experienced yet somewhat shady defense attorney who works from the backseat of a baller old school Lincoln Town Car. He has a daughter with his ex-wife, Maggie and she (naturally!) is an ADA. Cute. Maggie is played by the wonderful Marissa Tomei (who bears a striking resemblance to Amy Ryan in some of the film's scenes which was odd but kind of awesome). It's clear that they once loved and still love each other quite a lot, but despite it all, they're just never going to be able to agree and therefore a separation-with-benefits is probably the best thing for their daughter.

In the beginning of the film, Mickey picks up a big payday client from a delightfully nerdy John Leguizamo who is his go-to case man. He introduces him to Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) who immediately starts freaking out about being in jail and crying innocence. Mickey takes Roulet's case to the tune of $100,000 upfront and $550 per hour plus separate expenses for his investigator (nice!). There's a particularly awesome scene outside the county jail when Mickey swindles the Roulet family attorney out of a cool grand.

Of course though, things are not always as they seem, and as Mickey begins his research to prepare for his defense of Roulet he begins to uncover things that make him very wary of the man he's representing. The shift in the tone of the film is very subtle, yet very poignant. McConaughey goes from being easy breezy to taut and vicious and weathered in a matter of minutes. This added layer of grittiness is what really surprised me about the film. Even the way certain scenes are shot adds to the tension and you begin to feel really paranoid in the theater about how things might turn out.

For his part, Phillippe is out-freaking-standing. His performance definitely rivals that of Ed Norton in Primal Fear (the roles are similar). But, he slips from confused-scared-richy-business-kid to sociopath-smooth-criminal-bastard so easily it's frightening. The transition isn't slow either. He goes from prey to predator in one, excellently executed scene.

From there, the film really, really soars. I found myself feeling an almost physical need for Phillippe (and bonus points to Francis Fisher for playing his mother in a delectably freakish way) to have the book thrown at him, yet you knew Mickey couldn't do anything to fuck up the case because he himself could be sued and prosecuted and potentially disbarred.

Oh! And before I forget to mention it, Josh Lucas is also in this film (insert giggly laughter here for the two of them being in a movie together) and portrays the ADA facing off against Mickey during Roulet's case. Mickey runs legal circles around him, but in the end you know he'll get his man. In addition, Michael Pena cameos as a prisoner from one of Mickey's former cases (I won't explain his connection to the case at hand, because it's very predictable yet still plays incredibly well on screen. His transformation is a sight as well.)

Needless to say, there is a very clever, lawyerish ending to the film which also has an uplifting (if not bordering on cheesy) full-circle final scene that will leave you with a nice taste in your mouth and a very satisfied feeling.

It's April now, and while I'm not fully caught up on the movies I wanted to see due to a week-long parental unit visit, I have to say that this is the best movie I've seen all year. Rango is a close second, but this was just a fantastically executed film. The cast was superb, the writing very real and the pacing pretty much spot on. I didn't feel like the film dragged anywhere or wasted words or scenes, everything in it had a purpose, something it needed to achieve plot-wise yet it didn't feel forced or out of character.

We went to this movie really just to get out of the house for a couple hours and were very happily surprised at it's quality. Honestly, even if you're not a McConaughey fan, you need to see this, because he does a good job at getting you to reconsider your opinion. I enjoyed the hell out of it. If you liked Primal Fear or you just like legal movies and thrillers this is wholly worth your time.

Take Me Home Tonight

Let me start by saying that I had my doubts about this movie. I pretty much thought it would be a slightly-not-as-good-as-Superbad-yet-still-Superbad-in-the-80s romp, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was definitely Superbad in the 80s, but the overall sentiment was different and I found the actors to be engaging and almost more fun to watch than it's "younger" predecessor.

The difference between the two is this: Superbad gets old. It does. I almost hate admitting that, but it's true. I remember seeing Superbad in a packed house filled with all manner of people and utterly laughing my ass off, but about a year later I was staying over at a hotel during a road trip and it was on HBO or whatever so Mike and I were all excited to see it again and you know what happened? We laughed about about 80% less than we had initially. One might say this is normal, that you know the jokes, that you see them coming and thus, shit isn't as funny, but that's simply bullhonkey. I to this day laugh at Ace Ventura and The Big Lebowski as much as I did the first day I saw them, so good comedy does stand the test of time. I'm not saying that as a segue to revealing that Take Me Home Tonight is a timeless comedic classic, but I think it's more timeless than Superbad ever had a chance to be.

There are a couple key conversations in the film that make it sort of resonate emotionally as well, one being a conversation between Grace and his love interest-Teresa Palmer-at a stereotypically 80s fortune-500 office party. Initially, Palmer starts out saying all the right things when Grace asks her if she enjoys her job, but at some point she just blurts out that she hates it and everything about it and it's awesome. It's liberating to hear her say it because you can actually see the relief surge through her once she does. Not only that, but it's nice to see someone admit that that financial world is a huge fallacy full of pointlessness. The idea of "the soulless pursuit of money" came to mind.

In addition, there's a nice moment between Grace and his father, played by Michael Biehn, that really sat well with me because it reminded me so much of my own station in life and some of the conversations I've had with my own mom. Not to mention it made me happy to know that it's usually hard for people to figure life out, and that maybe it never does get figured out, but the important thing is to know when to just go for it...just to prove to yourself that you can, failure or success not withstanding.

The kicker of this movie is Dan Fogler, who is the comedic heart of the film and thoroughly enjoyable to watch, laugh at and laugh with. Not to mention, he actually does what I'm sure all of us have dreamed of at some point. Get fired-very publicly-then break in to work, set off the alarm and steal the most badass car (the boss's car) on the lot. Since it's an 80s movie this act is of course followed by finding blow in the glovebox, but that just adds to the vibe of the film and is damn funny.

I didn't need to see this movie in a theater, but I enjoyed it and I would definitely say that it would make an excellent rental for a boring Friday night. You'll laugh, you'll feel a kinship to the movie and you'll get a straight into-the-veins-dose of one of the wackiest and most often themed party-d decades of all time.

Battle: Los Angeles

I need to make a point in saying this straight out of the gate: I had NO expectations for this movie. That fact alone may mean that this review is biased in favor of the film, but overall, and in a really weird way, I adored this movie. And this is coming from someone who has always been a fan of science-fiction and has never held sci-fi movies to a lower standard than any other film genre. Is this something worthy of, say, the praise I constantly give District 9? No. But, in its own way, it really held its own on-screen.

I've read many a complaint about this movie that its dizzying, hard to follow, jumpy, blurry, lacks a general plot, etc., and on the one hand, I don't necessarily think those complaints lack a certain merit, but on the other, this movie kind of puts everything out there on the table just in the title. It's called Battle: Los Angeles, not Battle: Whole Earth Invasion, and the trailer in no way implied it would be anything other than that. Reduced to utter simplicity, this movie is like the bastard love child of Black Hawk Down and Signs. And to be honest, I don't actually think the film lacks a plot, the plot is merely extremely one-dimensional. Earth is invaded by an alien race for a natural resource that we actually have in abundance-water. They have advanced weaponry, are hugely militaristic and intend to come to Earth, take our water and destroy anything that gets in their way of achieving that goal.

As Mike said of it coming out of the theatre, "this was the most realistic 'invasion' movie" he'd seen in a long time, and I really don't disagree. The movie showed, without a doubt, how unprepared even our best military personnel really would be in the face of such complete annihilation. I think the shakey cam and blurry action only added to the sheen of authenticity that actually holds through the whole movie. The aliens are fast and have big guns. The soldiers can merely hope to react in time to hit something and stay alive.

As in most movies of this kind, there is a leader who must rise to the occasion after a moment in his history that quakes his belief in himself. This leader is, consequently, resentfully obeyed by the younger people in his squad who don't really know him aside from reputation and assume they know all there is to know about him and the mysterious mistake from his past. That leader is Aaron Eckhart, who I feel just by his presence on screen gives this movie a heart and a resonance that would have been absent otherwise. Naturally, his mistake was getting some boys killed in his last tour, one of who's brother just happens to be in Eckhart's newly formed squad. Even with everything going on around them they do eventually have the moment of discussing what happened, and I really thought the scene between Eckhart's Sgt. Nantz and Cory Hardict's Cpl. Locket was well done. Basically, Eckhart gives him the whole, don't-judge-me-until-you've-walked-in-my-shoes speech, but he does it with such sheer force of reserved military emotion that it's hard not to think about how many times that conversation has probably been had between soldiers. The respect in Nantz' voice is palpable, as is the regret he has for what happened as a result of his command. You know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that he would gladly trade places with all of them if he could.

The speech also serves as a turning point in the film, and the remaining soldiers alive suddenly feel an almost desperate familial bond to each other and Nantz and the task at hand. Armed with intel found by Sgt. Santos (Michelle Rodriguez) the team discovers a way to disable the aliens' airborne weapons (which are basically giant badass predator drones, unmanned, or shall we say, unaliened and controlled by a central machine.). Their goal is then to test their theory in the hopes of having intel to pass onto all the other countries and cities being plagued by the invaders.

The movie comes to a close with a successful and very human-triumphant vibe, but it also ends by way of continuation. Gloriously satisfied that their theory was proven correct, Nantz' team refuses to sit on the sidelines and wishes to slam head first back into the battle, because the city is not yet won. It's a moment that screams patriotism and unity amid chaos and is a general fist-pumping-generating moment.

There are brief civilian storylines thrown in and tragic deaths and very spectacularly brutal special effects and as it all rolls up together in the film I think it works. I don't think every sci-fi/alien movie has to be Aliens or District 9 or ET to be appreciated. This movie is almost like a snapshot of one area during one massive invasion. It's momentary, breathless and aggressive, but to say it's mindless or heartless would be blatantly untrue, at least in terms of how I looked at it.

I grant that it's not for everyone. For people who need a very involving plot or something that includes a lot of layers to be satisfied, then obviously this isn't for them, and if people want action that is clean and devoid of anything unpredictable they won't be pleased. But, if you want an invasion movie that is simply that, you want this. It's down and dirty, it's in your face and it doesn't apologize. You feel what those soldiers and civilians and little kids feel. You feel fear and confusion and panic and you feel blinded by the onslaught that is coming at you. So, if you can accept all that, or get past all of that, there's definitely a unique vision to see here.

Rango

Oh my gosh, how I enjoyed this movie. In a lot of ways it reminded me of how I felt coming out of Wall-e or Up. Just an all together fantastically made, highly enjoyable, makes-you-feel-good-about-life movie. I also happened to see it over my town's Spring Break, so even though it was a mid-afternoon showing on a week day the theatre was filled with all manner of patrons who were equally enthusiastic about the movie.

I had my doubts about Johnny Depp as a voice actor, not going to lie, but he really embodied the spirit of his little chameleon and I found myself really enjoying Rango's long soliloquies on how he was a rough-and-tumble-western-badass-turned-good-guy-sheriff.

In fact, all the voice talent in this film is fantastic. The only one I couldn't nail was Ned Beatty, who plays the mayor of Dirt. (Yes, DIRT.) Ray Winstone is in there as the town baddie, Bill Nighy is fantastic as the outlaw Rattlesnake Jake (his allegedly non-British "southern" voice is hilarious and awesome) and guess what kind of an animal he is?! Abigail Breslin and Isla Fisher are lovely as feisty town girl Priscilla and Rango's love interest Beans, respectively. Claudia Black as Angelique was brilliant, but the best cameo of the whole freaking movie was Timothy Olyphant as "The Spirit of the West". There are not words for how inspired that character is. I punched Mike in the arm and went "Timothy Olyphant!" in the theater in a harsh whisper and he looked at me like I was nuts. (Good times.)

Basically, Rango starts out the movie as a pet on a Southwest journey with his family. And, Rango thinks himself a thespian. The film's opening scene is nothing if not fantastic. Not only does it set the bar supremely high for the rest of the film's animation, but it sets the tone for who Rango is and what he really wants most, which is a simple "human" desire at it's core-much like Wall-E (to be loved and be in love) and Up (to learn how to live again after a loss)-Rango wants friends. He wants a family. He wants to be appreciated...Rango wants to belong and be the hero of his own tale. That sentiment in itself is what endears me most to the film and Rango. I mean, don't we all? We just want a place to feel at home and feel like someone loves us and looks up to us. That simple honest yearning is what gives the film it's heart and soul.

The conflict of the film revolves around Dirt's water problem. The town bank doesn't lock up money, but water, which is a visually arresting thing when you see the bank in the film. Not to mention, since Dirt is a desert town, it's fucking brilliant while being completely fucking practical. I LOVE animated movies these days for that reason. It brings the funny for the kids (fire-breath burp jokes, cactus juice as alcohol, characters named after food, a chameleon wearing long-johns), but it also has this completely adult plot line that is simple enough for children to follow, yet complicated enough for their parents to grasp and appreciate the film on a different level.

Naturally, Dirt loses its water and people are being forced to close shop and move, and Rango (aided by his vast theatrical imagination and a LOT of dumb luck) seeks to save Dirt and expose the evil doers (cough LAS VEGAS! cough) to get the town's water back. There is, of course, a villain closer to home than just Vegas, but remember who I said played the town's mayor? I'm pretty sure if I knew that going in I would have known from the first frame what was up.

Upon entering the Dirt watering hole, Rango decides to tell a magnificently tall tale and fashion himself a six-shooting dispatcher of bad-guys. All of Dirt thinks he fought off Rattlesnake Jake and his cronies with one bullet and thinks he's a hero, so they make him their sheriff and for a while, things go alright. But once the bank's water gets stolen and Rango leads an adventurous-albeit failed- rescue attempt he ends up being exposed as a liar to the whole town and cast out by the mayor and Rattlesnake Jake himself. At this point, he ventures back into the desert to find his way back to the road and civilization. Nearly at the end of his rope, delirious, depressed and nearly dead Rango finally meets who he's wanted to meet his whole life. His DESTINY, conveniently packaged in the shape of "The Spirit of the West" who is the most creative homage to the Westerner of all Westerners, Clint Eastwood himself. Olyphant, while not quite Eastwood, does a massively good Eastwood impression and Rango finally knows what he must do and treks to "the source" of the water to make one last effort to save his own life just by believing in himself.

I really, REALLY enjoyed being in the audience for this movie. It was fun, it was moving, and it was fucking incredible to look at. There were moments when the scene encompassed the landscape of the desert or the sky and dude, I'm telling you if I hadn't known it was animation, I would have assumed it was real. The amount of animation detail (and not just visually) this movie has is just unfathomable. This is the kind of movie that reminds you-if you need reminding-of why you love movies. It's the little things, the moments where you go "Jesus, that was great that they thought of that!" that make you love it. And I love the imagination behind this film too, it's just so unique yet it's such a basic and simple story that we've all heard a million times yet it doesn't feel stale or old at all.

Rango is fresh, hilarious, fun, relatable, gorgeous and does a pretty convincing job of showing that we probably all have a little of that ballsy chameleon in our souls. We tip our caps to you, Rango.

Capsule Reviews: Beastly, Red Riding Hood & The Adjustment Bureau

Ok, let's be fair. I knew Beastly was going to be shit. I had low expectations for Red Riding Hood and unfortunately for me, I had about six extra months of anticipation for The Adjustment Bureau which only served to make it worse for me once I saw it. Just wanted everyone to know the playing field. Let us begin.

Beastly: If you know me at all, you know that I am a sucker for Beauty and the Beast. It is and probably will always be my favorite Disney movie, even though to some extent it can be considered the film that began the systematic destruction of hand-drawn animation-but, that's not the point. Apparently Beastly is based on a novel by the same name which I have been trying to read and which is awful. So, source material being what it is, I'm surprised this film got made at all. Alex Pettyfer plays Kyle/Hunter, our resident jerk-off-becomes-nice-guy-after-being-turned-into-hideous-chud. Kyle is the epitome of selfish, vain and outright douchey and Pettyfer hits on all the right notes there, even while doing it with a very wayward "American" accent. Vanessa Hudgens plays Lindy, the girl whom our beast sets his sights on when he comes to slowly realize there actually is more to life than just "the pretty people". I found Lindy to be awkward and forced at times, though considering the rest of the plot, who really cares? The single BEST thing about this movie is Neil Patrick Harris, who plays a blind tutor to Kyle after he gets voted off the island by his equally douche-vain news anchor father. He's quippy and fantastic (as usual) but he brings a much needed brevity and reality to the texture of the film. Look, I'm not even going to do the rest of this. That last sentence is just making me laugh. The point is, if you like Beauty and the Beast, go see this movie for shits and giggles (matinee, price!). It does have it's moments of being worthy of "Tale as Old as Time" which WILL get stuck in your head for no reason at all. I went to it after a rather droll day at work and it did make me feel better. Granted, I went home and watched the REAL Beauty and the Beast...but again. Not the point.

Red Riding Hood: Jesus God. I don't even know much about Twilight beyond the general lame-ass-girl-inexplicably-being-fought-over-by-two-other-wordly-shitheads, but this freaking movie is the Old World fable version of Twilight. The ethereal Amanda Seyfried and uncompromisingly awesome Gary Oldman couldn't even save this film from Catherine Hardwicke's angsty hands. I was particularly flummoxed by the apparent "lack of discernable era" that the film emoted. They were in a forest, in a tiny town being haunted by a terrible beasty and yet I had NO idea when the hell it was taking place. A city was mentioned, but when they showed it it looked like the cobbled streets of London circa Jack the Ripper so that didn't help at all. Seyfried's two leading men-we'll call them #1 and #2 because they were laughable and horrid and I just don't care-were about as far from engaging as actors can be. I felt zippo passion on either front and I was just incredibly BORED with the whole arranged-marriage-loves-someone-else hoopla. The best thing this flick had going for it (aside from the more random than RANDOM steel elephant being drug through a snowy forest by Oldman's men) was the scenery of their little town. The whole time I was basically thinking "Fuck Grandma, I want my own cabin." Did I mention Julie Christie was in this? No? Well forget she was. I'm sure she already has. I guess that's your movie in a nutshell...a beasty, a mountain-faring-steel-torture-elephant and era-less real estate thoughts. Don't see this unless someone else pays, and even if they do, TRY to convince them to see Beastly instead. Based on the caliber of actors and how serious it took itself, Red Riding Hood is a farther cry from a good film than Beastly is, and man, that's just sad.

The Adjustment Bureau: As I said earlier, my not liking this movie was partly my own fault. I say again, partly. But in my defense, the stupid thing was supposed to come out last year! Plus, when you throw me such an excellent trailer with excellent people that I have to watch for seven months, it's hard for me to reign in that excitement. The funny thing was, coming out of the film I was ok with it. It was only after ruminating for quite sometime that I realized I HATED it. Here's the gist: Matt Damon plays a senatorial candidate, David Norris (who all through the film I assumed was related to Chuck) who has a hole in his heart due to family tragedy. Emily Blunt plays a stranger-on-a-train type contemporary ballet dancer, Elise Sellas, who just can't quite get her shit together long enough to get married. They meet, perchance, one thinks, after an important moment in Norris' career efforts, and are, allegedly, never to meet again. But, the whole film quickly becomes focused on David's necessity to find Elise again, because she's the only thing that makes him feel whole again. I have NO problem with the actors in this film, the performances, even from bit players are stellar. It's directed beautifully, with a lush appreciation for its urban surroundings and in general it's just very well done. The problem is that it was marketed as a science-fiction film with a heart when really it was just a bloody romance movie with a meager few quips on Christian fatalistic ponderings. The movie on the whole left me with far more questions than answers and I didn't even think I had questions going into it. I had expectations for this, yes, but the odd thing is my expectations weren't even in the same genre of what the film turned into.

The film implies The Chairman has a plan for everyone, and conveniently lets his employees work that shit out with handy dandy paper GPS books that look like blueprints of sewer systems. These employees are always a step ahead of their pray because they have special hats-yes, I said HATS-that allow them to pass through doors in a swift step and end up four blocks away. They never tell you how these angelic employees are chosen, how they're trained, or WHY angels need a giant office building in downtown New York as headquarters when they can go anywhere at anytime. Angels in the cubicles? Really? Not to mention, they never really explain why David and Elise are so damn important. Surely there are other people who would fight their faith to be with someone?

Regardless, I was led astray by the trailer, which clearly implied that there would be way more science-fiction and that the love story was merely a bi-product of the whole plot, but there's nothing I can do about it now.

The film has penetrating moments when you think it might be headed toward something other than the cosmic pull of love, but it ends up just being a tease. I liked both characters separately from one another, but pretty much couldn't stand them by the end of the film. Definitely not the outcome I had been hoping for.

Bottom line, this film expects me to believe that, not just former, but a disgraced former senatorial candidate rode the same bus for three YEARS just on the hope that he'd bump into a woman he knows nothing about. That's pretty much your movie, right there. And welp, jog the hell on with that.

I Am Number Four

I'm not sure how to review this movie if I'm quite honest. I feel if I say like it you'll - all, you know, three of you - think I'm a tool, but if I say there's not much of a film here you'll say I'm a snob, so I feel at a loss. Therefore, I'm going to go with this: IF you enjoy Michael Bay (ie, action films heavy on special effects and light on reality) movies and also enjoy teen angst television and/or novels, you'll actually come out of this film feeling pretty damn content.

This is an adaptation, yes, but from what I've heard, the novel is actually a spoof of said formula and was always intended to be a film so I'm assuming that said novelist watched something like "Push" and then read something like "Jumper" and came up with this nonsense that attempts to blend science fiction with high school romance. I've been hearing many a reviewer say "this movie is what happens if Transformers and Twilight hooked up and had a baby" but that just isn't right. It's not as over the top in special effects and battles as Transformers and isn't as saggy under the weight of romance as Twilight.

Movies like this have a very easy formula. Hot alien who just happens to look humanoid, and not just humanoid, but a leading alien dude who's a borderline Adonis, but of course a nice guy, patient, compassionate, shy. Hot loner Earthling girl who just happens to be smart and pretty and can completely deal with the fact that her boy wonder is from outer space and has the power of awesome literally in his fingertips. Throw in a more advanced hot female alien who has to save hot alien's ass, hot alien adult caretaker who falls to some unfortunate end protecting hot alien, jerk-bag ex-boyfriend to hot loner Earthling, nerdy sidekick who befriends hot alien and of course a large and ugly group of baddies and BAM there's your cast. In the major leads we have relative newcomers Alex Pettyfer and Dianna Agron. As the veteran caretaker the absolutely wonderful Timothy Olyphant and in the other roles are a bunch of people whom I'm familiar with but everyone else probably isn't so it doesn't really matter.

Pettyfer has what I assume is instant star appeal. I've heard he's full of douchebaggery in real life, but on screen he's very dynamic and there's definitely some potential there. He's pretty, but rugged and very physical. One got the impression that he did a number of his own stunts in this flick. As much as I love her in Glee, Agron is...well boring in this film. What makes her interesting is the fact that Pettyfer's "John Smith" is interested in her at all. My biggest shout out for the film (beyond the utter joy I get any time Olyphant is on screen) goes to Teresa Palmer as "Number Six", a fellow alien of John's, and she is a leather-clad, motorcycle-riding, ninja-with-wicked-knives-guns-and-evaporating/fireproof powers badass chick. She suffers no bullshit and came across as a very valuable asset to John.

As far as plot is concerned, the whole thing is utterly predictable from start to finish, (and by predictable I mean you can follow the second-grade-linear-sequence-of-events, but you have no idea WHY any of it is happening, nor do you care all that much) but because of the quick pace of it and the well timed entrance of action sequences it doesn't ever feel like it's lagging at any point. Since this adaptation was in no uncertain terms leading to a second film/novel/whatever it certainly felt like the ending was a cop-out, but I feel like overall the movie did its job.

I'm a movie junkie, so I go to my fair share of utter CRAP movies; (See: Takers, Season of the Witch, In the Name of the King, etc.) and this is definitely not in that lower echelon of awful, but it is a run-of-the-mill 18-35 demographic movie. I do hope that Pettyfer one, settles down off set, and two, considers his next few roles very carefully since it would be rather easy for a fellow like him to be typecast in this kind of film.

All that said, I had fun. The trailer spells out the movie and if you enjoyed the trailer you'll enjoy the movie. I had a boring Tuesday at work and then went to this film and felt like I'd been slapped in the face with pure adrenalin, which is what I wanted, so it's definitely worth a look...at least at a matinée price ;)

The Roommate...yes, really.

Yes, of course I only went to see this because Matt Lanter was in it, let's just get that out of the way. I do like Leighton though and she was totally who I left the theatre thinking about, so not a total loss.

The general plot of this film is blatantly given away in the trailer, but it's basically an younger, slightly different take on Single White Female--which, I find insanely scary in a very visceral way--but, as one might assume, it doesn't *exactly* hit it out of the park. Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester plays Rebecca, an off-kilter college freshman and she rooms with Friday Night Lights' Minka Kelly as Sarah, a tragically over-canonized "unbelievable fashion talent from podunk-nowhere Iowa"...no, really. I know. Sigh. There are bit characters, Lanter as Sarah's ex Jason, Cam Gigandet as Sarah's new love, Aly Michalka as a quickly dealt with dorm mate who is stealing some of Sarah's attention away from Rebecca, etc. but to be honest, none of them really matter. At all. The film is about Rebecca and her rapid descent into crazy.

It does its job as a creepy movie, but fails utterly as a thriller since the plot is so devastatingly predictable. This is not the trailer's fault, but the script's. There are moments of shining brilliance within the film; for example, in a ploy to get Sarah to stay home with her, Rebecca goes through a gruesome self-inflicted wound moment where she beats herself up and even cuts herself with a box cutter to feign nearly being raped. The moment works because of Meester's uncanny dedication to the part, the emotion behind her eyes is nothing if not terrifying. She looks at her bruises with an appreciative love, knowing that it will get Sarah to stay with her.

The film relies heavily upon our rooting for Sarah, but Kelly is just SO unengaging and boring that I found myself pulling for Rebecca the whole time. I knew she was outside her head, but I didn't care; she was proactive, assertive...in short, bitch got shit DONE, and I loved her for it. Kelly somehow even fails to have chemistry with Cam Gigandet, her love interest. How the hell does that happen? Meester has more chemistry with a cell phone in a very racy, and disturbing as hell scene where she pretends to be Sarah while talking to Jason (Lanter).

*Note, I have been told by a very good friend of mine that Minka Kelly is capable of excellent acting as seen in Friday Night Lights, but rest assured, you won't see any of it in this film. You'll probably want Rebecca to kill her by the time it's over, just as I did.

Another interesting moment is when the roomies go "home" to Rebecca's house--er, giant fucking mansion--for Thanksgiving and it becomes obvious that Sarah is not the first girl Rebecca has done this freaky dance with. That girl happens to be Nina Dobrev, but don't hyperventilate, she only has one line.

However, with everything that happens it takes a hugely contrived scene that one could see coming from 40 minutes away. It's only then that Sarah finally wakes up out of her "I'm just a talented little bitch from Iowa with 12 year old voice" coma and realizes that Rebecca is batshit nutzo.

In the final act we see (naturally) an epic fallout between the once loving girls. Rebecca tries to earn her place back in Sarah's heart by bearing her soul and telling her all the evil she's done to "protect her" at which point a somewhat well filmed battle ensues and it isn't until Rebecca realizes Sarah intends to kill her that she really tries to end Sarah. Sarah's final line is incredibly forced, lacks any conviction whatsoever on behalf of Kelly and actually feels humorously misplaced. Not to mention that if the comment were true, it was partly Sarah's fault for not being honest with Rebecca in the firs place. (In particular, watch for a scene between the girls when they go to an art gallery. Sarah clearly does something that endears her to Rebecca even more, despite the fact that she doesn't feel that way at all.)

All in all, Meester hits an absolute home run with this role. The movie pales as a whole in comparison to her performance. There isn't a second that you don't sincerely believe she's insane. Her eyes, even the way she smiles...everything she does has a willful and frightening intent behind it, one that is subtle but visible and creepy. If you are a fan of Meester and her budding career, by all means go to this, but if you are thinking it's going to be a big break for Kelly, don't go. I implore you. She's horrendous. You don't have to go see this movie, by any stretch, but it certainly will keep you entertained for the better part of two hours. The only scenes that are palpably dragging are the ones Meester aren't in, which are thankfully few and far between. So, if you've got a spare $7 hanging round and want to get out of the house, you have my blessing to see this.

PS-I particularly enjoyed a scene between Meester and Billy Zane, who plays a toolish design professor fantastically well. If you're a dude, you will be sufficiently freaked out, as damn well you should be. ;p

True Grit

Ok, so this will probably be short and sweet, because the only people who will go to see this flick already know it's gonna be good just like every other Coen Bros movie.

The important thing to know going into this movie is that moreso than the actual plot, the film is about relationships and what knowing ONE person can do to change your life. The film on the whole is really about Mattie Ross, played by an amazing up-and-coming young actress named Hailee Steinfeld.

At the time of filming, the girl was only 13-years-old and she's absolutely the best part of the movie for me. This is not to belittle the contributions of Damon, Bridges, Barry Pepper and Josh Brolin, but just to emphasize how outstandingly brilliant she was. The way she talks, the way she holds herself, the direct way she deals with these big bad men is inspiring and she is nothing short of utterly authentic and root-for-able.

Mattie seeks out Bridges' Rooster Cogburn to help her find the man who killed her father (Brolin) and avenge his death. Cogburn becomes her reluctant partner in this quest, also aided by a too-hung-up-on-himself Texas Ranger (played by Damon) LaBeouf, who will NOT take no for an answer.

The action is concise and well-filmed in this movie, but it is by no means what the film relies upon. By way of being a character study of Mattie herself, we also get to see the souls of the two men who attempt to protect her. Mattie reminds LaBeouf that life is about more than just catching bad men. You have to catch them for the right reasons, which should not include notoriety and personal achievement. She reawakens Rooster's soul by giving him something to live for and reminding him that he used to be a man who stood for something. She dragged his reluctant ass out of the bottom of the bottle he was dying in and kicked him square in the balls...(theoretically).

Josh Brolin is harshly underused in this film and is really nothing more than a dumb gun for hire. The surprise for me was Barry Pepper as the uniquely intelligent and philosophical gang head honcho. Why he would need a man like Tom Chaney in his crew is beyond me. Tom is quite like a child, almost a bumbling Lennie Small kind of character, just without the good intentions.

You need to know that this movie is a very respectful homage to the original True Grit. Bridges especially plays directly off of the way John Wayne characterized Rooster. There are whole sections of the film that are nearly word for word and shot for shot the same as its predecessor, but it doesn't come across as hackneyed or that this was overtly TRYING to look like the OG.

The film is a remake in the truest sense of the word, and I definitely think having seen the original will allow you to appreciate this one in a grander sense, though, since it is SO close you can also get away with not seeing it and drawing all your conclusions based on this film. It is a western in the truest sense, in that not a LOT actually happens but what does is very measured and important. The film isn't slow by any means, but the gunfights are few and far between, as well they should be.

I think the ending may alienate some people, but it really just reinforces what (and who) the film was about from the beginning. Bridges and the Coen Brothers will get you in the door for this flick, but I guarantee Steinfeld is the one you'll be thinking about coming out of it. I really can't wait to see more from this young actress.

Tron Legacy

*Note, I saw this at a midnight screening in 2D after which point I had to go to work at five am. Go me. ;)

...For the sake of being honest and not leading any of my two readers astray-HARK I must add a viewer here, M, you can be my exalted THIRD reader, yay!-I must tell you that this review will be full of spoilers because frankly, I can't resist, and also, I'm not sure a "proper" review can really be written by me without their use. Therefore, if you'd rather not read this for that reason, feel free to stop here. You hath been warned!

Now. Let us get the plot straight first off:

1) The original Tron ended with Kevin Flynn (who shall heretofor be known as just Flynn and his son, just Sam) inheriting Encom from Dillinger (doth that name ring any bells from Tron Legacy? *cough* Cillian Murphy! *cough*) NOT, I repeat, NOT getting sucked into the server and disappearing. That happened in the PAST of this film, so, our story picks up twenty years beyond Flynn's disappearance. His company has been poorly managed (by his and his son's standards) by a bunch of lackeys concerned only with the pursuit of money, not knowledge or progress. Therefore, his son Sam decides to go digital Jedi and release a new version of Encom OS free to the people of the interwebs just seconds prior to it's global launch. Hardy har-har! Digital Anarchy: "Of the people, by the people, FOR the people!"

*Be warned, this movie comes very close to condoning this kind of behavior, which I thought was bold for a Disney film; so make sure to have a conversation with your kids about the consequences of such actions if you must.*

If you aren't aware, Flynn stood for FREEDOM of information in the OG Tron, and battled a Sauron-Vader-like digital overlord known as Master Control Program, who was aided by then CEO of Encom Edward Dillinger. There was a program who "fought for the users" known only as Tron (modeled after Flynn's close friend Alan Bradley) and Flynn himself created a digital reflection of himself to work in the grid known as C.L.U. or, Codified Likeness Utility. Clu fought alongside Tron to defeat MCP, and with it, Dillinger himself thereby ending the tyranny of MCP and putting Flynn in control of Encom. Granted, in the first film Flynn himself does get sucked into the grid and thrown into the games just as his son does in Legacy, but I was *attempting* to keep the synopsis simple.

So, Sam has just fucked the company in the ass and is feeling RATHER proud of himself at which point he goes home to find Alan in what appears to be yet another surrogate father moment.

Let me say that I completely thought Garrett Hedlund would be the weak link of this movie. I've seen all his movies, (seriously, ALL of them) and I just wasn't sure he had the chops for this, even being aided by Jeff Bridges himself. But, he completely surprised me. He was roguish, heroic, ballsy, a little humorous and a lot aggressive, which I appreciated seeing in the dude I was supposed to root for the whole time, because, it made it EASY to root for him.

Back to the movie, now: Alan has much more interesting news than a lecture on ruining the company's stock share, and, being his father's son, Sam is loathe to resist temptation. From here, he's thrown into the grid, into the games, mirroring his father's experience, but with the goal of finding his father and bringing him home.

Ok, enough with the bloody exposition. I am going to sound like a fangirl for the rest of this text, but whatever. If you're reading this I know you loved it too. From THE moment Sam arrives on the grid I was in fucking heaven. The Daft Punk score started immediately and the change in the visuals could be felt just as much as it could be seen.

Sam is scooped up by a completely revamped and wicked cool Recognizer and plopped into a group of malfunctioning programs who are at once giving you the impression that being picked up by one of these bitches is no bueno. When the sirens dress him in his suit and give him his identity disk you know it's ON. His first task, not dying in the ident-disk war. WHICH, might I add is one of the BEST ways to start this whole manic ride. The visuals and score during his two battles will literally have your jaw on the floor, but the real kick ass starts when Sam takes on a mysterious character known as Rinzler, who, as it were, has MAD, MAD skills. One of my favorite sequences in this film is when the horizon line/gravity changes during his battle with Rinzler and they are fighting (to the audience) upside down and by using disk-to-disk hand combat.

It's clear that despite our hero's A for effort he is clearly going to be schooled by Rinzler...until he is asked by an almighty character to identify himself. (Can I also mention that the hovering gladitorial feel of this sequence is completely absorbing and awesome? The idea that a bunch of binary codes all have human faces and gather round to watch fellow programs, friends even, be "derezzed" is so much the human condition it's scary.) Sam states his name and LACK of program-ness and is ordered to be brought before the almighty...CLU. Who, of course, Sam initially thinks is in fact his father. The moment quickly passes in an aggressively frightening manner when Clu tells Sam that he isn't his father, but that he is very happy to see him. Put yourself in that situation! I mean, Christ! There's this digital alter ego of your father, he looks like your dad, sounds like your dad. A dad you haven't seen in twenty years, a dad you desperately want to find and bring home...and this guy is him, but he's NOT. This guy is him, but he wants you DEAD. What a mind fuck. Anyway, moving on.

So, finally having a bargaining piece in hand to lure the real Flynn out of his off-grid hiding spot, Clu decides to challenge Sam to...a lightcycle battle! Now, I must say the reaction that Clu gets walking out onto that lightcycle game grid is kind of awe-inspiring. He's got slomo badass walk, there are ovations all around, programs are going crazy, there are fireworks going off. Clu. Rules. All. Aside from the incredibly dynamic visuals of this scene, of which there are MANY-I particularly love how the geometry of the grid seems to change from one level to the next, or how things move, light up or make a sound as they are touched by a cycle-one of the things I love most is that it shows you a lot about Sam as a person. It's clear after he loses his first teammate that his humanity is one of the defining things that separate him from Clu. This may seem natural, but Clu wants him dead, he could have used all those minions to his advantage to save his own skin, but he doesn't. He tells them they'll only survive working together, but he says it in such a way that you KNOW he wants them to survive as well, not just himself. There is a really awful moment when Sam goes back for a fallen comrade only to get there a beat too shy, and you can actually see the pain in his face. Naturally, there comes a point when he will no longer survive, at which moment an outside influence intervenes to save his ass in what I can only describe as a Tron version of the Batman Begins Tumbler. This is not to belittle the vehicle at all, it's just that it literally looks just as cool but Tron-ified.

This is where Olivia Wilde first makes her appearance and from the minute she took off that helmet and laughed I knew I was going to love Quorra. She's just as ballsy as he is, but a bit more naive and curious, however, Sam is about to have a lot of things to be curious about. As one can imagine, Quorra takes Sam home to see his dad, his REAL dad. The moment of reunion, for me, was as touching and beautiful as it was heartwrenching. Both Bridges (who appears like a zen apparition in a digital living room and with all the glory and power that the image provides) and Hedlund are pretty amazing in that moment. Hedlund turns into a little kid...almost scared to be touched by Bridges for fear his dad isn't really real, just another cruel joke in a soulless place, but when Flynn says "You're here...you're here." and hugs him with tears in his eyes the moment hits Sam full force and his body absorbs the knowledge that he isn't alone anymore, that he has his father again and that he has to get him home. I'd heard many people say they thought the moment was cold and heartless, and to them I say, "The fuck you say! Were we watching the same movie?" The only reason it became a bit awkward is because it had to. Flynn, I think even at that point, KNEW he couldn't go home again, but KNEW that Sam would die trying to save him, so for a while he has the idea to distance himself from Sam, to make what has to be done easier on both of them.

(At this point the rest of the story is this: Flynn explains to Sam that he lost himself in his digital paradise, because of some trick of technology a digital people manifested themselves and their DNA could hold the key to thousands of revolutions, the ISOS. At that point, Clu was then lost. He felt threatened, like maybe he wasn't needed anymore, or wasn't important anymore. Clu wanted to create the perfect world, it was his task that Flynn gave him and when the idea of that was threatened, Clu kidnapped him and even with Tron they were unable to defeat Clu, who had of course gathered a small army of followers already. He then destroyed all the Isos (all but ONE of course *wink wink*) and decided to make an army in preparation for getting into our world and eradicating us of our imperfections (kicker though, he needs Flynn's ident-disk to escape, he can't leave on his own). There is one final showdown at which point "the hard choice" has to be made and Flynn's real power is finally seen.)

Flynn tells Sam the plan is to do nothing, because doing nothing results in no one getting hurt and Clu not getting his way, but it also means no one goes home and everyone is a coward, and Sam won't suffer that shit. So, as a rebellious young man is wont to do, he rebels, steals his dad's bike and goes to find Zuse, a man who, allegedly, can smuggle them out of the city and to the portal that Sam and Flynn passed through.

Michael Sheen plays Zuse (also known as Castor) a wicked awesome night club owner who has turned to the dark side. He has a wonderfully bizarre part and I really loved him in this. (PS Watch out for Daft Punk as the night club Djs in their trademark helmets.) Enter the second twist of the film, Zuse is on Clu's payroll. A battle ensues at which the ever threatening Rinzler appears (whom any noble movie-goer at this time must realize is somehow not quite right). We think Sam is cooked for sure this time, but voila! Quorra appears yet again, and this time she broughts a friend.

The level of respect, power and all around AWESOME of Kevin Flynn is palpable when he steps into the club. The lights flicker, programs flee, he disables whatever the hell he wants to just by touching it or thinking it. In the battle, Quorra is injured and (oh snap!) Flynn's disc is taken. (During a subsequent meeting with Clu and Zuse he hands it over, thinking that naturally he will receive all the glory. And what happens, he gets blowed up. Clearly, no one ever told him to never trust the dark siders.) They hop a freaking amazing solar-sailor-Sunshine-lookin'-lazer-ship-train that is moving toward the portal. Sam feels guilty at being the reason for Quorra to be hurt and his father's disk to have been taken, but Flynn is able to literally PULL the injury code from her DNA and all is right with her once she reboots. Third (somewhat less shocking twist) she's the LAST ISO! Whaaaaaaaaaaa?! "She's the miracle."

Sam and Quorra have a nice exchange while Flynn tries to recover his zen until they realize they're docking somewhere odd. In fact, they're at ground zero for Clu's army of programs. Clu at once gives a rousing speech about their destiny being outside the walls of their digital lives (eerily similar and contradictory to Flynn's earlier flashback speech at an Encom summit). Sam and Flynn hatch a plan which Quorra smartly fucks up in order to be captured by Rinzler, and Sam goes and busts some serious heads in order to retrieve his father's ident-disk and stop his evil digital doppelganger from hatching his plan. They snag a wicked awesome x-wing lookin' plane and head off toward the portal, a chase ensues which I can only describe as digital-eyefucking-manta-rays-ribbon-candy-light-trails-what-Avatar-should-have-been AWESOMENESS. Quorra minds the controls in the front while Sam mans the bombardier guns in the back. One by one the baddies fall and crash and derezz but one is always on their tail until...he remembers who he is. Of course, we all knew this, or I hope YOU did, but when TRON yells out: "I FIGHT...FOR THE USERS!" I 'bout lost my shit. I think I cried a bit. All you haters out there who want to say it was cheesy can kiss my ass, it was great, and totally hearkened to the OG Tron which just really brought the whole film full-circle for me. Basically, Tron falls into the "ocean" and gradually as he sinks his red/orange lights turn to white/blue and you know he's Tron again.

The battle isn't over yet, however, because Clu still lives and even as they approach the portal it begins to close. Flynn sees the error in his ways, he apologizes to Clu, hoping to end their war by saying that he was wrong in tasking him with making "the perfect world" because since he is merely a representation of himself, that perfection will never really BE perfection, nor could anything BE perfection. Clu steps to him, and you think maybe he's had a change of heart, but instead he lashes out at him and separates himself and Flynn from Quorra and Sam. Sam screams for his father in a moment where you can feel his heart tearing apart, you can feel that Sam KNOWS how close he is to that idyllic life he wants and in the same moment KNOWS it can never be. His father...is simply out of reach. The portal closes ever more and a look of somber knowledge passes over Sam and Flynn's faces. Clu however, is not faint of pixels, and steals Flynn's ident-disk once again, only to find that this time, it isn't Flynn's it's Quorra's. Whoops, bitch. You lose. But still, Clu WILL not yield. Even as Quorra and Sam prepare to "beam" into our world he jumps for the portal and makes it across the ever widening gap, at which point, Flynn comes to life again and uses all the power left within him to prevent Clu from reaching the portal.

I can barely FIND the vocabulary to say how amazing that moment is. Like a digital Gandalf on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum he literally claps his hands together and pulls Clu away from them, and by default, he pulls him back into himself. Flynn is an old Jedi Master, but even he cannot withstand the power of absorbing his digital self, and like a nuclear bomb, he derezzes right before our eyes. Kevin Flynn, you are the creator, and we salute you.

...You need to THINK about that moment a lot before you can even begin to understand the psychological ramifications of it. I was so in awe of it, and I still AM.

Back in "the real world" Sam has paged Alan, and lets him know that yes, he will be taking his company back now, because he was right about everything. Alan looks perplexed but understanding in the same moment as a soft smile appears across his face. Outside, Quorra stands against a light fixture outside of Flynn's and we fade into the sunrise.

SIGH. This movie is just plain-out-knock-down-drag-out-FUN and wicked cool to boot. PLUS, if you aren't an asshole and can read between the lines of the linear narrative there is really a lot going on with this film in terms of relationships, social commentary, and the nature of humanity.

What-generally speaking-do we all want but to feel loved, to feel like we belong to something, to someone. We search for acceptance, achievement, self improvement. And when it comes down to it all Flynn was trying to do was make his world a better place. All Sam wanted was to find his dad and to know that he didn't leave HIM. All Quorra wanted was adventure in a new place (she loved Jules Verne remember?). So, in a way, they all got what they wanted, even if it wasn't in the way they wanted it.

Plus, there was the undercurrent of manifesto with regard to how Flynn stood on FREEDOM of information. His son obviously understood what his father stood for and sought to achieve that in whatever way he could while taking minimal responsibility. It's safe to say that Sam had to grow up, Flynn had to...adjust his expectations, and Quorra, she needed a purpose for being the last of her kind.

I just...I dunno. This movie, with it's amazing music, crazy awesome visuals and absorbing world, it just captured me, as I think it did every other nerdly friend of mine. Is it a perfect film? Of course not. Was there strategy behind certain things? Of course. Tron is not dead. Dillinger is going to be a new villain in the next film (which I would assume there would be). Some were annoyed that they buried a caliber actor like Cillian Murphy in an uncredited role purely to set-up a potential sequel, but what the hell? Murphy TOOK the role. If he was offended by it's responsibility in any way wouldn't he have, you know, NOT taken it? I just find it presumptuous for these people to so gratuitously HATE on this movie for no legit reason.

Oh, and on the note of hate, a lot have complained about dialogue, and I truly am flummoxed by that. Nearly ALL the characters in this film are ones and zeros. They're CODE. They're programs. Perhaps it is not their purpose to sound "human". Just a thought, you chuckleneads.

I would say "You have to go see Tron!" to just about anybody I thought would be open to the concept. It is not necessary to have seen the first film, though it does help knowing the backstory for the little things such as Dillinger and Flynn's overall attitude on his company and his life. However, I would also recommend this movie to anyone who is a Jeff Bridges fan. He really is remarkable. It's interesting to see him play off himself as a younger and decidedly more evil version of himself and it's also interesting to see the vibe he has with both Wilde and Hedlund. Since the film gives the impression that Sam is in love with Quorra, it's strange to think that Flynn had a fatherly relationship with Quorra and also WAS Sam's father. Somewhat awkward, but I can deal.

Look, bottom line: SEE THIS MOVIE. If you're a geek, a nerd, love action movies, love sci-fi movies, love 3-D movies OR just love Tron I really doubt you'll be disappointed. I rather think you will have an awesome time and want to talk about it over dinner or coffee or some kind of light blue beverage. ;) I can say without a doubt that I will see this movie a minimum of two more times (one of which WILL be in 3D. I will risk the migraine, I don't CARE. I just HAVE to see it.) and I will enjoy it just as much each time as I did the first time. I went with high expectations and I was not let down, and trust me, I would say it if I was. *See my Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince review for proof.

As far as 2010 goes, my top three are thus: 1) Inception 2)Tron Legacy 3) The Town. I haven't seen Black Swan, The Fighter or True Grit yet, but I can guarantee all of those will be top-10.

Fare-thee-well Tron-onites! I hope you see it, and I sincerely hope you love it.

The Tourist

I'm going to forgo the apologies and just say that since I discovered FF, made an excellent email friend and got my damn job back sadly writing the reviews has gone to the back burner. That said, I would like to try to get back into the game, so here we go.

So, The Tourist. It's a caper-spy-mistaken-identity film starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell and Timothy Dalton (!!!) have supporting roles. Jolie plays Elise, a woman who is more than meets the eye and appears to be under the watchful eye of Scotland Yard and Interpol because her estranged boyfriend stole upwards of two billion dollars from a British gangster and owes Her Majesty's government a tidy sum of back taxes. Bettany is the Scotland Yard agent on her case and Depp is merely (or so one thinks) a useful cog in a very mysterious wheel.

What I really enjoyed about this film was it's rather whimsical mix of comedy and suspense. Not to mention that I've truly never seen a Jolie movie where she looked so incredibly ethereal and drop-dead gorgeous in every. single. shot. She plays the estranged lover very well, and there is both an excitement and a sadness behind her eyes through most of the film. Depp plays the somewhat bumbling community college math teacher, Frank well too. He's amusing and rather useless and awkward until the closing third of the film, at which point a very interesting twist takes place.

Bettany works the over-aggressive-bordering-on-obsessed outstandingly, though you aren't really sure why he's so after this dude until the end; and I adored Timothy Dalton as the Police Chief who is sick of Bettany's waste of public funds. Needless to say, he does come to the rescue at the very end to give the order that Bettany is simply too close to to give himself.

The pace of this film is excellent, and even the somewhat dull moments don't feel dull at all simply because of the excellent dialogue and general loveliness you are able to look at on screen. The Venice locale is an amazing backdrop for the film and the action sequences, are well timed and impeccably shot. In particular, the boat chase down the canals. I can't imagine the logistics of that, but it was most impressive.

I think I figured the twist out ten minutes before it happened, but up until then I had an entirely different idea in my head of how it would turn out, so the ending is VERY satisfying. I wouldn't really call this a thriller, but it's definitely suspenseful and mysterious. Plus, the cast turns what could have been a sub-par film into something entirely worth the cost of admission and then some. I'd recommend it to anyone a fan of the actors or the genre, it's definitely one that will stick with you for a bit and is a very fun ride.

PS you might feel a bit for Bettany there at the end, because it's not exactly satisfying for everyone involved...However, Timothy Dalton FTW. He says something I'm sure many of us have said before in our lives, and it's just genuinely satisfying to see.

Capsule Reviews: Get Him to the Greek, Jonah Hex

So, I was debating about doing fuller reviews for both these films, which I was lucky enough to see in the same day...I'll let you decide how that exactly came about *wink*. However, I think a capsule is more appropriate for both seeing as how they aren't really that overly stimulating in terms of plot.

Get Him to the Greek: I really have to say that Russell Brand carries this movie for me. Jonah does a great job playing the same basic character model we've seen in most of his other films, but Brand was not only hysterically funny in this, he also showed some decent chops in terms of the slightly more dramatic themes the film threw into the third act. P-Diddy was actually kind of great as a bit player and very much so reminded me of Tom Cruise's now iconic Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder. I would say the biggest surprise for me was Rose Byrne's turn as former-junkie popstar Jackie Q, Brand's ex and baby-mama...or is she? I find Byrne is staggerly gorgeous in everything she does and she really has some comedic timing in this film. I feel like it would be appropriate to say if you've seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" you've seen this film, as the general plot construction is nearly identical, but I still think this film is well worth it if you like the genre. A great many stars have funny little cameos and in general the film has an abundance of brilliant jokes and a nice serving of good intentions and uplifting ideals. If you want a fun time at the movies, this film definitely fits the bill.

Jonah Hex: First of all, this movie is quick, like ABC Family original movie quick. So, do NOT see it unless you get an under-$6 ticket price. Despite this fact, and perhaps because of it and the absolutely shit reviews this film had, I had NO expectations going into it. I think that helped my overall take on the film, because truthfully, I enjoyed it. The base-plot reminded me heavily of Ghost Rider from a few years back, however I would pick Hex over Ghost Rider any day and I OWN Ghost Rider. Josh Brolin and John Malkovich carry the film, though Will Arnett, Aiden Quinn, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and a barely recognizable Michael Fassbender add a nice layer of depth to the film. Generally it's a good-guy-does-right-thing-pays-for-it-only-lives-for-vengeance type story, but it has elements of comedy and fairly decent action. Also, Megan Fox is GOOD in this movie. She doesn't have a lot of screen time, but I really found her worthwhile despite the limited ground she had to cover. If you enjoy action and/or vengeance movies you will enjoy this flick. It's worth it JUST for the guns and the wicked nation-killer weapon.

The A-Team

Ok, this is not your mother's A-Team.

While the original A-Team had its own elements of the ridiculous, (no one ever dying, everything always a "flesh wound" no baddies EVER being able to shoot our boys) this reboot is FAR more so. Absolutely nothing you see in this film feels even remotely based in any reality that I subscribe to, however, it IS a helluva lot of fun.

Now, on to casting; I can't stand Jessica Biel, but it's not her fault, and I doubt I would have appreciated ANY chick in a film such as this. I realize having some female eye-candy is a requirement, but the "relationship" that she and Face were supposed to have shared was completely topical and not really all that convincing. Also, would it be possible for a mainstream movie to portray a female in the military with just a tidbit more respect? It's like they didn't even teach her how to hold a gun properly. She was more convincing in Blade Trinity, and that was a VAMPIRE movie.

Speaking of Face, Bradley Cooper made a notable effort, but I just wasn't convinced. I thought he did a better job than I was expecting, but I still feel he was wrong for the part and looked like he was trying too hard through most of the film. In a weird way, I felt Patrick Wilson who played the film's villian, Lynch (classic!), would have made a better Face. PS on Face, Dirk Benedict shows up in the film and I won't say where or when, but...AWESOME.

As for BA, I actually liked this Rampage Jackson dude; he filled the shoes well and I enjoyed him. I heard that he was disappointed with how he came across in the film, and felt it wasn't good for his image, but I really liked him. I thought he played the inner struggle-between his nature and wanting to to the right thing-well, considering his lack of experience. Plus, he was completely buyable as a badass who could kick the snot out of anybody who crossed him.

Wilson, as mentioned before, played the CIA big-bad in a cheeky, likeable way, but I prefered him in the first and second acts as opposed to the third. In the final few strides of the film he just goes a little too nutty for me (ala Jason Patric in this year's The Losers), playing Lynch off as a corny, arrogant, I-own-the-world type asshole. But seriously, Jon Hamm showing up for ten seconds as yet another Lynch? Pitch-perfect. In general it's hard for me to root against Wilson, he's talented and likeable so I had to fight myself to root for the team during the final action sequence.

Last but not, not, NOT least, Hannibal and Murdock. Holy crap these two were PERFECT. I adore Liam Neeson and I admit I was sketchy on his pulling this off when I first heard of the casting but MAN was I wrong. He is absolutely wonderful...the cigar, the smile, the dedication to his men, it's all there and it's fanTAStic. Also, he's huge and I've never doubted his abilities when it came to being a tough guy. I mean have you seen Taken? Hell yes, Liam Neeson can kick your ass.

However, Sharlto Copley totally hit it out of the park as Murdock. I thank my lucky stars that Neill Blomkamp threw his friend into District 9 (one of my absolute favorite movies of 2009) so that he was able to get this role. Murdock was the only dude I could not figure out an ideal man for when they first announced this film. He's so funny and batshit crazy and loyal that I just couldn't pick a modern actor out of a lineup for him. Copley is amazing, he even gets an opportunity to use his real speaking voice in the film as a press lackey, he does a few others as well throughout the film. There are too-many wicked lines and moments to rehash, but know this; he ALONE is worth the price of admission.

Now, as for the plot, it was light but workable. Face and Hannibal are the only two acquainted in the opening and are working to put some Mexican lowlife assholes out of business. Hannibal meets BA by complete accident and they stage a rescue to get Face, who slept with the Jefe's wife (on top of everything else) and is about to be lit on fire. They reach an army hospital, having formed a bond for life, and find your friendly insane army ranger, Murdock, at which point they stage another amazing escape in a bucket of bolts that Murdock flies so well, even the Mexicans chasing them are impressed, "Did you see how he flipped the helicopter?!" By luring the baddies over the border, they accomplish their goal and it's "Adios Mother Fucker," Hello A-Team. Did I mention Murdock pancake's BA's ride during said escape? 'Twas CLASSIC.

As for the rest, we're in the final stages of Iraqi withdrawl when the CIA realizes Saddam loyalists have American mint engraving plates and Hannibal and his team are "not" sent in to get them back. After a wildly raucous plan comes together and they retrieve said money and plates, they are subsequently double-crossed, burned and thrown into various jails. After the CIA helps bust them out of prison, they are off to retrieve the plates (again) from the private security firm that stole them...only to find out that they were betrayed by the one person who they thought could have cleared their names, who, by the way, they thought was DEAD. Eventually, and by using a very clever plan (which Face made up!) they divide and conquer the CIA and security firm bringing everything out into the open and clearing their names. The clean slate doesn't last long however, being that they are arrested AGAIN for breaking out of prison the first time. Hmm...I wonder if they'll STAY locked up?

It's an enjoyable film, with more laughs than I was expecting and pretty solid action; though, the hand-to-hand combat is too choppy for me. Not every fight needs to have fast angles. Pretty much ever sequence is ridiculous save the opening rescue scene, however, my favorite sequence is definitely the "tank-flying" incident, made all the better by the random German couple who have been married for WAY too long.

Bottom line, if you're an action or summer movie junkie like I am, this flick is for you. It made me feel the same way I felt watching GI Joe last year, like a little kid, who doesn't care if shit can really happen in real life or not. It's a total blast and pretty hilarious; basically it's a guaranteed good time. Check your reality at the door, and have a wicked awesome ride.