Capsule Reviews: Get Him to the Greek, Jonah Hex

So, I was debating about doing fuller reviews for both these films, which I was lucky enough to see in the same day...I'll let you decide how that exactly came about *wink*. However, I think a capsule is more appropriate for both seeing as how they aren't really that overly stimulating in terms of plot.

Get Him to the Greek: I really have to say that Russell Brand carries this movie for me. Jonah does a great job playing the same basic character model we've seen in most of his other films, but Brand was not only hysterically funny in this, he also showed some decent chops in terms of the slightly more dramatic themes the film threw into the third act. P-Diddy was actually kind of great as a bit player and very much so reminded me of Tom Cruise's now iconic Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder. I would say the biggest surprise for me was Rose Byrne's turn as former-junkie popstar Jackie Q, Brand's ex and baby-mama...or is she? I find Byrne is staggerly gorgeous in everything she does and she really has some comedic timing in this film. I feel like it would be appropriate to say if you've seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" you've seen this film, as the general plot construction is nearly identical, but I still think this film is well worth it if you like the genre. A great many stars have funny little cameos and in general the film has an abundance of brilliant jokes and a nice serving of good intentions and uplifting ideals. If you want a fun time at the movies, this film definitely fits the bill.

Jonah Hex: First of all, this movie is quick, like ABC Family original movie quick. So, do NOT see it unless you get an under-$6 ticket price. Despite this fact, and perhaps because of it and the absolutely shit reviews this film had, I had NO expectations going into it. I think that helped my overall take on the film, because truthfully, I enjoyed it. The base-plot reminded me heavily of Ghost Rider from a few years back, however I would pick Hex over Ghost Rider any day and I OWN Ghost Rider. Josh Brolin and John Malkovich carry the film, though Will Arnett, Aiden Quinn, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and a barely recognizable Michael Fassbender add a nice layer of depth to the film. Generally it's a good-guy-does-right-thing-pays-for-it-only-lives-for-vengeance type story, but it has elements of comedy and fairly decent action. Also, Megan Fox is GOOD in this movie. She doesn't have a lot of screen time, but I really found her worthwhile despite the limited ground she had to cover. If you enjoy action and/or vengeance movies you will enjoy this flick. It's worth it JUST for the guns and the wicked nation-killer weapon.

The A-Team

Ok, this is not your mother's A-Team.

While the original A-Team had its own elements of the ridiculous, (no one ever dying, everything always a "flesh wound" no baddies EVER being able to shoot our boys) this reboot is FAR more so. Absolutely nothing you see in this film feels even remotely based in any reality that I subscribe to, however, it IS a helluva lot of fun.

Now, on to casting; I can't stand Jessica Biel, but it's not her fault, and I doubt I would have appreciated ANY chick in a film such as this. I realize having some female eye-candy is a requirement, but the "relationship" that she and Face were supposed to have shared was completely topical and not really all that convincing. Also, would it be possible for a mainstream movie to portray a female in the military with just a tidbit more respect? It's like they didn't even teach her how to hold a gun properly. She was more convincing in Blade Trinity, and that was a VAMPIRE movie.

Speaking of Face, Bradley Cooper made a notable effort, but I just wasn't convinced. I thought he did a better job than I was expecting, but I still feel he was wrong for the part and looked like he was trying too hard through most of the film. In a weird way, I felt Patrick Wilson who played the film's villian, Lynch (classic!), would have made a better Face. PS on Face, Dirk Benedict shows up in the film and I won't say where or when, but...AWESOME.

As for BA, I actually liked this Rampage Jackson dude; he filled the shoes well and I enjoyed him. I heard that he was disappointed with how he came across in the film, and felt it wasn't good for his image, but I really liked him. I thought he played the inner struggle-between his nature and wanting to to the right thing-well, considering his lack of experience. Plus, he was completely buyable as a badass who could kick the snot out of anybody who crossed him.

Wilson, as mentioned before, played the CIA big-bad in a cheeky, likeable way, but I prefered him in the first and second acts as opposed to the third. In the final few strides of the film he just goes a little too nutty for me (ala Jason Patric in this year's The Losers), playing Lynch off as a corny, arrogant, I-own-the-world type asshole. But seriously, Jon Hamm showing up for ten seconds as yet another Lynch? Pitch-perfect. In general it's hard for me to root against Wilson, he's talented and likeable so I had to fight myself to root for the team during the final action sequence.

Last but not, not, NOT least, Hannibal and Murdock. Holy crap these two were PERFECT. I adore Liam Neeson and I admit I was sketchy on his pulling this off when I first heard of the casting but MAN was I wrong. He is absolutely wonderful...the cigar, the smile, the dedication to his men, it's all there and it's fanTAStic. Also, he's huge and I've never doubted his abilities when it came to being a tough guy. I mean have you seen Taken? Hell yes, Liam Neeson can kick your ass.

However, Sharlto Copley totally hit it out of the park as Murdock. I thank my lucky stars that Neill Blomkamp threw his friend into District 9 (one of my absolute favorite movies of 2009) so that he was able to get this role. Murdock was the only dude I could not figure out an ideal man for when they first announced this film. He's so funny and batshit crazy and loyal that I just couldn't pick a modern actor out of a lineup for him. Copley is amazing, he even gets an opportunity to use his real speaking voice in the film as a press lackey, he does a few others as well throughout the film. There are too-many wicked lines and moments to rehash, but know this; he ALONE is worth the price of admission.

Now, as for the plot, it was light but workable. Face and Hannibal are the only two acquainted in the opening and are working to put some Mexican lowlife assholes out of business. Hannibal meets BA by complete accident and they stage a rescue to get Face, who slept with the Jefe's wife (on top of everything else) and is about to be lit on fire. They reach an army hospital, having formed a bond for life, and find your friendly insane army ranger, Murdock, at which point they stage another amazing escape in a bucket of bolts that Murdock flies so well, even the Mexicans chasing them are impressed, "Did you see how he flipped the helicopter?!" By luring the baddies over the border, they accomplish their goal and it's "Adios Mother Fucker," Hello A-Team. Did I mention Murdock pancake's BA's ride during said escape? 'Twas CLASSIC.

As for the rest, we're in the final stages of Iraqi withdrawl when the CIA realizes Saddam loyalists have American mint engraving plates and Hannibal and his team are "not" sent in to get them back. After a wildly raucous plan comes together and they retrieve said money and plates, they are subsequently double-crossed, burned and thrown into various jails. After the CIA helps bust them out of prison, they are off to retrieve the plates (again) from the private security firm that stole them...only to find out that they were betrayed by the one person who they thought could have cleared their names, who, by the way, they thought was DEAD. Eventually, and by using a very clever plan (which Face made up!) they divide and conquer the CIA and security firm bringing everything out into the open and clearing their names. The clean slate doesn't last long however, being that they are arrested AGAIN for breaking out of prison the first time. Hmm...I wonder if they'll STAY locked up?

It's an enjoyable film, with more laughs than I was expecting and pretty solid action; though, the hand-to-hand combat is too choppy for me. Not every fight needs to have fast angles. Pretty much ever sequence is ridiculous save the opening rescue scene, however, my favorite sequence is definitely the "tank-flying" incident, made all the better by the random German couple who have been married for WAY too long.

Bottom line, if you're an action or summer movie junkie like I am, this flick is for you. It made me feel the same way I felt watching GI Joe last year, like a little kid, who doesn't care if shit can really happen in real life or not. It's a total blast and pretty hilarious; basically it's a guaranteed good time. Check your reality at the door, and have a wicked awesome ride.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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I don't even know where to begin with this. As someone who has seen all the movies thus far and read all the books in one sitting because I was sick of not knowing the whole story, I was wildly disappointed with this film.

For me Half-Blood Prince is the best of the seven novels, and of the seven (since they are making Deathly Hallows into two parts) is really the only one that could fill out a whole film with ONLY things that matter. This for me was the deepest and most painful of all the books. The foreboding Rowling captures in this novel is quite astounding. It's that perfect moment in a series, like an eye of a storm, when everyone realizes what is really in store for them and has to choose a side and hunker down. The final act of this novel far outshines the inevitable ultimate battle between Harry and Voldemort. More death occurs in Hallows, but for me, the deaths in Prince were far more brutal and meaningful.

So, with that said, it's almost difficult for me to say that it was a bad movie, simply because what they did show was right on the money. It was beautifully shot, the performances were consistently stellar from all major players, especially Felton's Malfoy, who is scared and tormented, and Rickman's Snape who is nothing short of tortured in this film.

However, It was an empty shell of what it could have, and should have been. Epically hollow, if you will. I know the whole puberty thing figured prominently in the novel, but I didn't think they would devote quite as much time to it in the film as they did. Plus, really, I can't condone cutting the battle and the funeral. I just can't. And I can't believe they fucked up Dumbledore's death the way they did. The impact of his being gone was so much more significant in the novel, and that's just with my imagination to picture it.

There was nothing really wrong with Half-Blood Prince. But it just made it seem like the sixth book was merely a coaster for the seventh to sit upon which isn't the case if you read through them all. Plus, without introducing all the side-stories from this novel, really fleshing out Hallows will make no sense at all. It was gorgeous, it was, but none of it MEANT anything.

This film, for me, not only missed its mark, but felt like it didn't even know what the hell to aim at. By far my biggest letdown of the year.

Public Enemies

I didn't like this movie as much as I thought I was going to, but it is a well put together drama. My biggest pet peeve with it is at the end when Dillinger walks through his own Task Force unit and no one recognizes him. I get it, Dillinger was an escape artist and smarter than everyone else, thanks for forcing that one down my throat.

I think Michael Mann is a good director, I hated Miami Vice, but I loved the way it was shot, and Mann sticks to that gritty, harsh lighting and natural set-up in this film. Mann really comes into his own when it comes to shoot-outs. He just has a way of shooting gunfire that is unmatched by anyone else. The sound isn't cartoony and I love knowing that he's not talking down to me and trying to make a gunfight pretty. Bullets tear into and destroy everything in their path and I love it.

Johnny Depp really made this movie for me, and even though there was a rather impressive supporting cast I really didn't care about them that much. He makes the most of all his screen time and appropriates Dillinger's much revered nonchalant attitude with ease. While not being emotional, you can see that losing men and having the net tighten around his wily band weighs heavily on him, and every loss is a personal failure on his part.

I loved that the love story wasn't really a love story. Dillinger merely wants to protect something that can't protect itself and Billie just needs someone to take care of her. It's not so much love as it is a necessity in order to feel complete.

The film is confident in its delivery of the last 18 months of Dillinger's life, I felt like when I watched it it was less a movie than it was a cross section of how it all went down. It doesn't pander to the audience or explain how the characters got to where they are, and I love that. We all know how the story ends, and the movie doesn't serve to explain WHY what happens happens, but rather THAT what happens happens.

I'm sure this is one of those love-it-or-hate-it movies for most people, but I think I just appreciated it for the fact that it didn't SAY anything, it just puts together a series of images based on the researched history of one man's life and provides us with images of how it may have happened. It's excellence as a film is completely dependent upon its simplicity, and because of that it succeeds.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

So, I've seen this a couple of times now and I have to say, it was easier to stomach the second time around since I just blatantly tuned out the stupid shit. Let's face it, I love Michael Bay, I really do. But the man is not a poet. He's one of the best action directors out there, and while he doesn't really outdo himself here, the effects and action sequences are spectacular.

Aside from all the normal complaints, ie: the twins, Devastator's "wrecking" balls, random teleportation, a human going to "robot heaven," an even more random trans-terminatrix, being in forests 30 seconds after being in an industrial park, Megan Fox's pants staying white until the last scene, Wheelie humping her leg, Sam's high mom, The Fallen being weak as shit, not an entirely present or cohesive plot, etc., other than all that it was fine.

Yes, I know how stupid that sounds but really, what do you expect? The opening scene was fantastic, and while it left me wanting to know more about NEST it was enough to get me by. I actually liked that we didn't find much out about the new Autobots, and I really appreciated that this movie was basically about Optimus, and how much he was willing to sacrifice for another species. I liked his blossoming relationship with Sam, which can be seen as an allegory for growing up and realizing that sometimes it's not all about you, and you have to do the right thing even though it isn't an easy fix.

Optimus, while not being human, always comes across as a very human character to me. I actually find him to be the most fleshed out of all the characters, and I feel like he's some wizened grandfather passing on his knowledge to the next generation, complete with his double-arm blades. I know it's cliche, but I would have to say my favorite scene is Optimus in the forest, when he takes on Megatron, Starscream and a third decepticon. Not only is it a weird clash of visuals, (an untouched, natural forest being paired with an uber advanced alien race), but it's also where we see how much Optimus cares about Sam. The slow motion of him tearing that other decepticon's face in half was pretty damn amazing as well.

This movie is not perfect by any means, but is still worth a watch. It's fun, and though the plot is sketchy, you understand what's going on and definitely aren't let down by any of the effects. To be honest, the human cast didn't matter as much to me. LaBeouf is solid despite the writing, Fox has to scream way too much, and John Turturro is no where near as annoying here than he was in the first installment of the franchise. Appreciate Revenge of the Fallen for the visuals, and try not to hold the plot against it.